Dear Grandpa,
Watch this video from up in heaven. I hope you can feel the pride I feel when I watch our latino idols sing and dance on national TV. It is the people like them and people like you, who use their pride to further themselves, but not detriment their common sense, that make me want to be important in the future.
Please, Grandpa, help me laugh and smile for the four and a half minutes of this video. I need your spirit to help lift up mine for a change.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Make me strong
Dear Grandpa,
Today is the first day that I'm starting to feel more like myself. I drove to Staten Island with Mom and met up with Leah and her mom for breakfast at IHOP. Omelets there are so much cheesier and filled, which is, yet, another reason New York is a bagillion times better than New Jersey. Anyway, after the eating extravaganza we went shopping at TJ Maxx and I got the cheapest and most fabulous reversible bathing suit. Things seemed to have finally turned up. I don't know what it is, but being in the area around my town makes me feel so much more aware of myself and my differences, but being in Staten Island and Manhattan brings me energy. I feel like I'm on another planet where I don't have to care about anything.
Then, everything went downhill. My night sucked and you probably know why. The only person that has really helped me through it all is Mom. She tells me stories about you and the things you used to say to cheer her up and it makes me smile. There are so few memories I have of you before you got sick, but those few that remain are so treasured. Luckily, they resurface when I hear Mom and Grandma talk about you and, for just a little bit, it feels like you're still on your lounge chair back in Puerto Rico. I wish I could still tell you that you penciled in your eyebrows with a blue Sharpie instead of a black one and I wish I still believed that you were the fastest swimmer in the world.
Make me strong, Grandpa.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Today is the first day that I'm starting to feel more like myself. I drove to Staten Island with Mom and met up with Leah and her mom for breakfast at IHOP. Omelets there are so much cheesier and filled, which is, yet, another reason New York is a bagillion times better than New Jersey. Anyway, after the eating extravaganza we went shopping at TJ Maxx and I got the cheapest and most fabulous reversible bathing suit. Things seemed to have finally turned up. I don't know what it is, but being in the area around my town makes me feel so much more aware of myself and my differences, but being in Staten Island and Manhattan brings me energy. I feel like I'm on another planet where I don't have to care about anything.
Then, everything went downhill. My night sucked and you probably know why. The only person that has really helped me through it all is Mom. She tells me stories about you and the things you used to say to cheer her up and it makes me smile. There are so few memories I have of you before you got sick, but those few that remain are so treasured. Luckily, they resurface when I hear Mom and Grandma talk about you and, for just a little bit, it feels like you're still on your lounge chair back in Puerto Rico. I wish I could still tell you that you penciled in your eyebrows with a blue Sharpie instead of a black one and I wish I still believed that you were the fastest swimmer in the world.
Make me strong, Grandpa.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Friday, May 27, 2011
Hangover 2
Dear Grandpa,
I need a break from stress. I hung out with my friends today and saw the Hangover 2, but it was incredibly raunchy and way too awkward with Michael in the same audience. Talking to Matan was nice, but bittersweet. I hate feeling this way.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
I need a break from stress. I hung out with my friends today and saw the Hangover 2, but it was incredibly raunchy and way too awkward with Michael in the same audience. Talking to Matan was nice, but bittersweet. I hate feeling this way.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Piano
Dear Grandpa,
I'm back into playing piano again and you know what that means; I'm bummed out. There is something about the piano that relaxes me, puts me into a mellow mood, and opens my mind to endless thought. I love it, I miss it, but I only practice if I'm not feeling myself. Is it weird to say that the piano music grounds me in a way? It reminds me of my younger years, when worries were on a tiny little scale and I got such simple pleasures in things like... well, playing the piano. The thing that I love the most is that the work that you put into practicing always pays off. The end result gives you a certain satisfaction that you can't find anywhere else.
I'm hoping that you'll help me resolve my problems and push me to finish this song that I'm working on now. I know that once I conquer it, I will feel much better.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
I'm back into playing piano again and you know what that means; I'm bummed out. There is something about the piano that relaxes me, puts me into a mellow mood, and opens my mind to endless thought. I love it, I miss it, but I only practice if I'm not feeling myself. Is it weird to say that the piano music grounds me in a way? It reminds me of my younger years, when worries were on a tiny little scale and I got such simple pleasures in things like... well, playing the piano. The thing that I love the most is that the work that you put into practicing always pays off. The end result gives you a certain satisfaction that you can't find anywhere else.
I'm hoping that you'll help me resolve my problems and push me to finish this song that I'm working on now. I know that once I conquer it, I will feel much better.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Life sucks :(
Dear Grandpa,
Got stuck in a hospital from 8-5. Matan left for Israel. Lauren lost American idol.
Life SUCKS :(
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Got stuck in a hospital from 8-5. Matan left for Israel. Lauren lost American idol.
Life SUCKS :(
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Matan
Dear Grandpa,
Tomorrow Matan leaves for Israel for his birthright trip. Although it has nothing to do with you, it has a lot to do with me and it's pretty much all I can think about. The thing about it is that I can't text him, call him, or email him because he won't have his computer there and the phone charges are incredible. I just have to wait for his call (did I mention that he only has 25 minutes a day).
We get into fights and argue sometimes, but he is honestly the only person I want to go to when I'm upset, even if it's at him. Grandma says that he reminds her a lot of you: his crooked teeth, his eyes, his sweet nature. She also is convinced that I have to stay with him, NO MATTER WHAT, because you guys used to fight all the time, but she never regretted it. I guess she's right because I can't stay mad at him for long. I love him too much.
It's a joy and a curse to be in love, Grandpa, but I can't live without it. I know I'm just a silly little girl (not a teenager anymore), but he's a really great guy and I want to be happy with him for a long time.
I hope I can make it through these 10 days without being depressed. I'm just going to have to fill myself up with work, friends, and family. Good thing I'm surrounded by people who love me. I am truly blessed.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Tomorrow Matan leaves for Israel for his birthright trip. Although it has nothing to do with you, it has a lot to do with me and it's pretty much all I can think about. The thing about it is that I can't text him, call him, or email him because he won't have his computer there and the phone charges are incredible. I just have to wait for his call (did I mention that he only has 25 minutes a day).
We get into fights and argue sometimes, but he is honestly the only person I want to go to when I'm upset, even if it's at him. Grandma says that he reminds her a lot of you: his crooked teeth, his eyes, his sweet nature. She also is convinced that I have to stay with him, NO MATTER WHAT, because you guys used to fight all the time, but she never regretted it. I guess she's right because I can't stay mad at him for long. I love him too much.
It's a joy and a curse to be in love, Grandpa, but I can't live without it. I know I'm just a silly little girl (not a teenager anymore), but he's a really great guy and I want to be happy with him for a long time.
I hope I can make it through these 10 days without being depressed. I'm just going to have to fill myself up with work, friends, and family. Good thing I'm surrounded by people who love me. I am truly blessed.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sorry :(
Dear Grandpa,
I know it's been a while... almost a whole month. Things haven't been the same and I wasn't feeling like writing, (weird, I know) but I guess I should catch up with you.
Grandma is home. I missed having her in the house and I am loving the food surplus. Aunt Tina is staying here too and that gives Grandma a little bit of company since I have been busy doing other things. I'm in and out of the city, taking her to appointments and bingo and doing absolutely anything she wants. Ehhh, I still draw the line at garage sales, though.
I'm finally done with school! Not all of my grades are in, but I'm hoping for all A's. I've done excellently in all of my courses and aced my finals, but there is always that one teacher that ruins everything. We'll see what happens there.
Mother's day was a little bit lonely. We stayed at home and everyone missed you, especially Grandma. We reminisce almost everyday about the things that you used to do. You know that I hate to cry and I don't like to complain, so I keep a lot of things inside that results in a buildup of stupid emotional stuff. I guess you know where that goes to.
I'm not depressed, so to say, but I'm not happy either. I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel the same way. It's like I'm lazy and I don't feel that same energy that I did when I was a teen. I think Mom is starting to notice because she and I spend a lot more time together than usual.
Maybe it's just the terrible weather that we've been having, or I'm just extremely hormonal. Either way, it's no excuse to leave you for so long. Maybe you could get me back to myself.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
I know it's been a while... almost a whole month. Things haven't been the same and I wasn't feeling like writing, (weird, I know) but I guess I should catch up with you.
Grandma is home. I missed having her in the house and I am loving the food surplus. Aunt Tina is staying here too and that gives Grandma a little bit of company since I have been busy doing other things. I'm in and out of the city, taking her to appointments and bingo and doing absolutely anything she wants. Ehhh, I still draw the line at garage sales, though.
I'm finally done with school! Not all of my grades are in, but I'm hoping for all A's. I've done excellently in all of my courses and aced my finals, but there is always that one teacher that ruins everything. We'll see what happens there.
Mother's day was a little bit lonely. We stayed at home and everyone missed you, especially Grandma. We reminisce almost everyday about the things that you used to do. You know that I hate to cry and I don't like to complain, so I keep a lot of things inside that results in a buildup of stupid emotional stuff. I guess you know where that goes to.
I'm not depressed, so to say, but I'm not happy either. I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel the same way. It's like I'm lazy and I don't feel that same energy that I did when I was a teen. I think Mom is starting to notice because she and I spend a lot more time together than usual.
Maybe it's just the terrible weather that we've been having, or I'm just extremely hormonal. Either way, it's no excuse to leave you for so long. Maybe you could get me back to myself.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
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