Dear Grandpa,
It has been too long. That's my fault. I thought that I could handle everything on my own for a while, but I realize now that I needed you more than I figured. I've changed. A LOT.
I lost my wallet yesterday, Grandpa, and I'm pretty sure someone took it. Mom is right, that I trust too much. I would never think of stealing anything because that's the way I was raised. If I saw $20 on the street, I would feel too uncomfortable using it and probably just donate it to a church or something like that. But there are too many people in this world that don't have those ethics and it's kind of like a slap in the face. Anyway, I could care less about the money that was in there, the debit card, or my license. Yes, it's a pain in the ass to lose them and I now have to go through all of these steps to get them back, but they're material things. I'm most upset that I don't have your prayer card, the one from your funeral. I had it in the back pocket, sticking out just a bit, so it always reminded me of you. There was a part of me that thought your grandpa-prayer-card-powers would lead me to my wallet and when it didn't, I felt like I lost you too. So I spent the day overwhelmed, stressed, and upset... until I felt you lift me up. I don't know how to feel it, but one second I'm so depressed and the next, I'm okay. I'm okay, Grandpa. You always know when exactly I need you, REALLY need you.
You might not know how much you actually help me, but the only way to explain it is through my poetic freak of nature way: now a days I haven't been myself. I'm like a train that strayed from the tracks; sometimes I'll hit a clear path, while other times, I am dodging and scraping things left and right. Then, like nothing, you throw me right back on track. I feel like me, better than me. I suddenly realize just how much I'm worth and how hard I should be working. I understand what it's like to love and lose. Most importantly, I become a little closer to you, my guardian angel.
Look, I could spend days writing to you about everything that has happened to me since I last talked to you, but none of that matters. What matters is that I'm your granddaughter again and I wont ever forget that. Thank you for making me whole again. I love you.
Love always,
Your granddaughter
